


You were never just anything

by Bellakitse



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Romance, The boys share some fries and an honest conversation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-05
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2020-01-05 01:08:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18355499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bellakitse/pseuds/Bellakitse
Summary: Alex and Michael run into each other at the Crashdown, share a meal and some feelings.





	You were never just anything

Michael Guerin comes down the stairs of the Crashdown Café, having left Liz upstairs in her apartment and finds Alex at the counter, eyes on the menu in his hand. It’s been days since he’s seen Alex, days since he showed the man his deepest darkest secrets. He takes a moment to look the man over, Michael doesn’t know if it’s his military training or just that they are always hyperaware of each other, but it’s not often that Michael can look at Alex without him realizing that he has his eyes on him. He studies him now, the crutch is gone again, dark slim jeans and a navy shirt that show of the sharp lines of his body, his jacket thrown over a counter stool. He looks good, because of course he does. Alex Manes always looks good. It’s his own personal hell that the man looks beautiful every time Michael lays eyes on him.

Tracking his eyes upward slowly he isn’t surprised when Alex’s eyes lock with his. He watches as an array of emotions cross his face, too fast for Michael to keep up before it settles on soft expression that shouldn’t cause Michael’s heart to speed up, but the damn thing is stupid and never listens to him as it beats away in his chest.

He stays still at the other end of the counter and waits as Alex puts down the menu and starts to make his way over to him until he stands in front of him.

“Hi,” he starts after a moment of silence.

Michael nods in greeting.

Alex looks behind him to the stairs that lead to the second floor and then looks back at him, the question silent but clear and even though he knows he doesn’t own Alex any explanations, there is that part of him that is happy that Alex cares about anything that involves him and he finds himself answering.

“I was leaving Liz some note, on the serum we’ve been working on,” he explains quietly to not be overheard.

Alex takes a step closer. “Progress?”

 “Lots of untested hypotheses really,” Michael shrugs. “Getting a bite to eat?”

Alex looks back at where the menu and his jacket are. “I was going to get an order to go and head back to my cabin.”

Michael nods again as he takes a step forward and to the left, ready to leave. “I’ll leave you to it,” he answers with a half smile he doesn’t feel and starts to go.

A hand reaches out touching his elbow as he passes Alex, turning him around gently.

He looks at Alex with a raised eyebrow in question.

“I could stay and eat here,” Alex blurts out in a rush, his cheeks going rosy. “If I have company?”

Michael looks at him, not speaking, he watches as Alex shifts from one foot to the other, biting down on his bottom lip.

“Friends hang out,” Alex continues, tentative. “Share meals?”

Michael raises his eyebrow again. “Are you asking me to stay and share a milkshake with you, Manes?”

Alex lets out a breath, his cheeks even redder. “Badly, but yes, fries too if you’re interested.”

Michael rolls his eyes, but a smile plays at the corner of his mouth before he nods towards an empty booth and starts to make his way to it while Alex goes to retrieve his jacket before joining him across the booth.

They stay quiet as they look over the menu, only talking to Mr. Ortecho when he comes by to take their order and going back to silence when the man leaves them. The tension thick between them and Michael wants to break it but isn’t sure where to start, luckily Alex breaks their stalemate.

“How’s Isobel?” he asks, still awkward.

Michael snorts. “Great, like she didn’t spend six weeks in a pod, she’s back to planning that big gala of hers.”

Alex smiles at that. “Glad to see she didn’t miss a step being in an egg.”

Michael wrinkles his nose at the word egg. “We prefer pod.”

Alex smirks, opening his mouth only to pause as Mr. Ortecho comes back with their burgers, fries, and milkshakes. They both thank the man and watch him walk away before looking back at each other.

“You’re the one that said you _hatched_ ,” he continues as he grabs a fry and dips it into his milkshake. “Egg is valid,” he says popping the fry into his mouth.

“That’s disgusting,” Michael frowns as Alex goes for another fry to do it again.

Alex pauses for a moment before slowly and deliberately dipping his fry, making sure it’s heavily coated in his chocolate milkshake. “Says the man who drinks acetone,” he shots back, smiling through his bite.

Michael ignores the way his stomach flips at a playful Alex, it’s been a while since they’ve been at ease enough to joke with each other and he’s not sure they are there now, but it’s nice to try.

“How do you know about that?” he questions biting into his burger, savoring the deliciousness.

“Kyle mentioned it,” Alex says offhand, and Michael’s appetite goes up in smoke.

“What-” he starts with a bite in his tone that Alex picks up right away by the way he pauses mid-bite and looks at him startled by the sudden change, and he wants to take it back, wants to stop the next words that are ready to come out of his mouth but is unable to do so. “You and Valenti best buddies now, sharing alien secrets?”

Alex stares at him for a moment, his expression open a few seconds ago is now carefully blank. “You know that he knows about you guys and I told you he came to me with information about our father., I’m not sure why you’re upset now, Guerin,” he says softly.

Michael rolls his eyes, annoyed. “I guess I didn’t realize you guys became friends again.”

“We haven’t,” Alex answers, patiently. “But he has apologized for the past, and we’re trying to mend bridges.”

Michael smiles sarcastically. “I guess you just want to be _friends_ with everyone these days, huh, Alex.”

Alex opens his mouth only to close it back, Michael watches as the man takes a breath and he can almost hear the count from ten that is going on in his head. Michael hates it, almost wishing Alex would blow up at him so that he can have an excuse to do the same. He feels tight in his skin, angry and jealous that Kyle-f _ucking_ -Valenti has been spending time Alex, making amends when he and Alex can’t.

“I don’t want to fight, Guerin,” Alex says, his voice strained. “ _Please_.”

The way the please crack hits Michael low leaving him to feel like an ass, and he sighs, the fight going out of him with the exhale. “I’m sorry,” he starts, licking his lips as he looks back at Alex, hating the way his eyes him with a wary expression. “Valenti just pushes my button, I know he’s not the same douchebag from high school, but I see him, and all I think is of how he treated you back then, and I end up itching to punch him in the face.”

Alex huffs out a small laugh, some of the tension between them leaving. “It happens to me too at times, and he is still an ass sometimes, but not about me being gay. I appreciate you wanting to defend me, but we’re all adults now, Guerin, it’s okay.”

Michael smiles but it feels tight on his face. “Being adults doesn’t change the fact that I still want to keep you safe, sweetheart,” he says, the endearment slipping pass his lips, it tugs at him the way Alex’s eyes go wide as he stares back at him. He continues, giving voice to one of his constant thoughts. “Especially since I could never keep you safe from who you needed protection from the most.”

Alex looks away from him, and Michael can see how he’s struggling from the way he swallows hard. He hears the man breath hard, a sniffle follows, and when he looks back at Michael, he isn't surprised by the wet shine in Alex’s brown eyes.

“I think you have that backward,” Alex says not above a whisper, his eyes now focused on Michael’s left hand that rests on the table. “I didn’t keep you safe,” he says, and a tear slips. “I’ll never forgive myself for what he did to you.”

Michael shakes his head and reaches across the table to grab Alex’s own hand, squeezing it as tight as his damaged hand allows. “You don’t have to forgive yourself, because you were never responsible for that Alex, _never.”_

Alex traces the scars on Michael’s hand with shaky fingers staring at it before he looks back up at Michael with a teary smile. “My shed, my father, Guerin,” he says sadly before looking away again.

“No,” he shots back and stands from his seat, now leaning his body forward, his other hand reaching out to grab Alex’s chin to make sure he looks at him. “ _No_ ,” he repeats. “A hateful, homophobic asshole who doesn't realize his son is perfect the way he is. Doesn’t realize you have always been perfect exactly the way you are.”

Alex gapes at him, giving him that look that ways made Michael feel special and warm and _worthy_.

He clears his throat, his hands letting go of Alex as he sits back down. He feels his body hot from his outburst. “We should finish eating, can’t let Mr. Ortecho skills on the grill go to waste,” he says still red-faced as he picks up his now lukewarm burger.

Alex stares at him for another moment before nodding slows and following his lead, picking up his own burger.

They work through the rest of their meal in silence. When it’s time to pay, Alex shakes his head, dropping some money on the table to cover the bill and the tip. He holds the door open for Michael to step out of the café. In the time they have been eating and reopening old wounds, the sun has gone down, and the street lights have come on. The street is not as busy as earlier but still has people walking about.

Alex quietly walks with him towards his truck, and it suddenly feels like a date escorting him to his car. He pulls out his keys and opens the door to his vehicle before turning back to Alex. He watches him again, the way his shoulders are hunched up a bit, his expression unsure once again, but he can see the hints of hope in there and it echos in Michael’s heart.

“Let’s do it,” he starts, swallowing as he speaks. “I’m not saying it’s going to be easy controlling myself when I want more, but if you want to just be friends, I’ll take that Alex, gladly.”

Alex looks at him, studies him as Michael watches him and finally lets out a soft laugh that surprises Michael.

“I never said just friends, Guerin,” Alex says gently.

“Yes you did,” he argues.

Alex shakes his head. “The word just never left my mouth,” he continues, rolling his eyes even as he offers Michael a smile that is loving and softly amused. “You could never be _just_ anything, you were never _just_ my friend,” he says his smile growing as he takes a step closer to my Michael and then another and another until he has him pressed to the side of his truck.

“You were _everything,_ Michael,” he whispers, his hand coming up to cup the side of Michael’s neck. “You still are.”

Michael let’s out a shuddered breath as he lifts his hands to Alex’s waist to keep himself steady after Alex’s declaration leave him shaky. “Damn it, Alex,” he swears. “How can you say that and expect me not to kiss you.”

Alex smiles as he leans in, stopping a hair away from Michael’s lips, his eyes locking with his and Michael nods at the silent question in Alex’s eyes. He lets out a sigh when Alex’s lips touch his, it’s been too many weeks since he’s gotten to feel this, too many weeks of thinking he might never have this again.

He brings his arms up and around Alex’s shoulders holding him flushed against him as they pour years of love and longing into a kiss that feel like the first, like a new beginning.

Alex ends the kiss but keeps Michael close as he presses his forehead against his and Michael watches as Alex, who is holding him in a public street smiles widely, happily, looking at him like he’s everything and he falls in love all over again.

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](http://bellakitse.tumblr.com/)


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